If you're a gay man, you may recognize the feelings expressed here, but we don't talk about them, because they might perpetuate the stereotypes we're trying to deny exist.
A friend of mine published a novel not too long ago in which one of the lead characters is a not-so-sympathetic gay man. The book is called Well With My Soul by Gregory G. Allen. I won't give away the plot, but as I said, one of the main characters is not so nice. This morning, Greg sent me a link to a review he saw that called him homophobic because the gay character isn't portrayed in a positive manner. I actually found that part refreshing. Let's face it, not all gay men are nice! Some are assholes!
I know, I know... Gay Pride! We're all supposed to like each other and support each other and all that crap. We stand united against the Bible beating politicians and we tell kids "It Get's Better." Yes, kids, it does get better because you get stronger. You learn how to fight and you learn that you're worth more than anyone will tell you, and you certainly will NOT learn that lesson in a bar, a bath house, or a Gay Pride parade. You will learn that by having loving supportive friends around you. Some may be gay; some may be straight.
In a brief history of the gay rights movement, the police harassed us, the drag queens stood up to them, we made headway and then AIDS came, wiped many of us out, we stood up again, got Don't Ask Don't Tell, got knocked back a bit, pushed forward and made headway with gay marriage. More backlash. Forward movement.I decided not to finish, or publish this because it seemed angry and homophobic. Angry, yes. Homophobic, no. The truth is, we don't treat each other very well. I hear women say sometimes that they would love to have a gay best friend because we are all fabulous. No, we're not ladies. Not all of us. We can be bitchy, judgmental, offensive, and arrogant....all under the excuse that we're gay and we have the right to be that way. We are FABULOUS! It's our birthright. Actually it makes us no better than Ann Coulter or the Westboro Baptist Church. Hate is hate, regardless of who is spewing it.
Externally, we've made progress. Internally, we're just as divided as ever. Look at the makeup of the large gay rights organizations. Predominately white. Predominately good looking. Predominately affluent.
If you're gay and you're white, slim, under thirty, and a have a few dollars in your pocket, I don't expect you to understand any of this. This may not be your experience...yet. If you're not white, over thirty, not slim, or struggling like the rest of America, I think you might have a clue as to what I'm saying. You've experienced that feeling of being invisible in a crowded room. It's a lonely existence.
This month, as we've deemed it Gay Pride Month, can we maybe do something we can actually feel proud of? Can we treat each other with a little respect and dignity? There are many wonderful people already doing this, but there are just as many, if not more, who could use the time to catch up. Let's show the world that adversity has made us better people. Let's show the world that we are people of all shapes, sizes, colors, economic brackets, etc...
Just be nicer to each other. Recognize the human condition that is all of us, gay, straight and everywhere in between.