Yesterday I had a conversation with a friend of mine about life, mortality, and the blues. It's no secret that I've been in a funk for a while. Maybe it's mid life. Maybe it's not enough sunshine or exercise. Maybe it's my job. Maybe it's the extraordinary number of deaths I've experienced the past few years. Maybe it's just life.
Some people take antidepressants to deal with depression, but for me, I've never been a fan. I've taken them. Zoloft, Eflexor, Prozac, etc., but I always found the side effects and sense of numbness more of an issue than my occasional bout with the blues. That doesn't mean they aren't right for others, but I've always preferred a more natural approach. Sometimes you just have to feel the shit until you're ready to move on.
So, yesterday was a good day. I have a very vivid dream the night before that seemed to be answering a burning question for me. I woke up with a huge sense of relief. I'll share that revelation another day, but I was sharing it with a friend yesterday when I realized through everything I've had a pretty good life.
There are a number of things I still want to do with my life, but I've already loved and been loved by some amazing people and had some pretty amazing experiences. I've had a full life.
I haven't skydived, but I have driven down Pacific Coast Highway in a convertible. I haven't been to Paris, but eaten bagels on the streets of New York. I haven't seen the Greek Ruins, but I have hiked in Sedona. I've skinny dipped in the Pacific Ocean under a full moon. Visited a nudist camp in West Virginia. I've experienced Hollywood and Broadway. I've visited the Lincoln Memorial and the Kennedy Center. I've ridden many subways. I've camped on Kelley's Island. I've walked the Mall of America. I've traveled to Chicago on a blind date. I've been to the top of the Empire State Building. I've seen the bats in Austin, Texas. I've stayed in a five star hotel. I've shopped on Rodeo Drive and Michigan Avenue. I've driven a U Haul truck from Dayton to Santa Fe. I've marched in parades and acted in films. I've written a novel and performed on stage. I've sung karaoke and eaten oysters in Toronto. I've been insulted by a famous movie star and made out with a country music star.
I could go on and on. These are the things I need to remember when life seems down, overwhelming and I'm searching for my purpose. I've still got lots to do, but if it were to end tomorrow, I've had a good life. That's the important thing.